


You Are My Sanity

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: BDSM, Biting, Bondage, First Time, Light BDSM, M/M, No Lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-28 21:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is cracking under the pressure of being a titan, a soldier, and losing all of his friends. Only Armin can comfort him.<br/>I'm going to be honest. I don't know if I'll ever finish this, but we'll see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Aha, I don't usually (meaning ever) write smut or serious works (i usually write parodies or things to make people laugh) so I decided to attempt a serious smut thing.

_Annie._  Eren could remember a voice asking that.  _Annie, what happened to Annie_. The voice seemed to be coming from him, but it was too hazy and blurry and red for Eren to understand the answer being thrown back at him. The voice had been soothing and comforting, pulling Eren into darkness and making him forget the world around him. Red...why was it red? Everything was dark, and it was red; a sticky, thick, fearful red. Yet Eren has was having trouble pinpointing why it was red and why the red was fading so quickly. Could that have been blood? Eren did not know, and he did not care. He was much too concerned with the black at the moment. It was fading away into a gray, then a white, and then...

With a start, Eren sat up and looked around. He had no idea where he was. The room he was in was small and brown, and everything else in it was of similar excitement; gray bed, wooden night stand, and dark blankets. The only bit of color in the room was a head of blonde hair sprawled out on the bed beside him. Armin.

Eren jostled his friend to wake him up. He needed to know where he was and what happened to Annie. Why he was so concerned for Annie, Eren feared he would never know, but it was a question that was pulsing through him, demanding to be answered. What happened to Annie, and why would Eren be so worried about her? "Armin, wake up." He said harshly, his question more important than his friend sleeping.

Armin's eyes snapped open, and he looked at Eren with worry in his eyes. When he saw Eren sitting up looking at him, his eyes relaxed, but his body was still somewhat tense. "Eren-" Armin began to ask a question, but was quickly cut off by his friend.

"Armin, what happened to Annie?" Eren asked, fearful for reasons unknown even to him. He was sure that once Armin began to explain what was happening, he would begin to remember everything again. Strangely enough, when Eren asked the question, Armin got a weird look on his face, a look that resembled guilt. "E-Eren..." Armin glanced at the door, then back at Eren as if the information he was about to tell was an enormous secret. Perhaps it was.

"Eren, don't you remember what happened?" Armin started over, his voice full of worry. Eren simply shook his head in answer. "Oh. Well, you took quite a beating, so it's not surprising that you don't remember. Annie...is a Titan. I'm sure you remember that much." Eren nodded once again. He remembered what happened with Annie in the entrance to that underground tunnel. It made him sad to think about it. Annie was his dear friend, and knowing that she was an enemy against humanity was something that he wished he had forgotten. _  
_

"Annie attacked the city, and you turned into a Titan. You probably remember that much as well. But," Armin shifted himself on Eren's bed, giving Eren an excellent view of Armin's bright blue eyes. "You almost killed Annie, but you froze, and Annie locked herself in this weird amber shell. We've tried everything and it won't break. Who knows how long she's going to be in there?" Eren stared at Armin. As Armin described what had happened, blurry images began popping up in his memory again. He remembered everything that had happened, even why he had stopped himself from killing Annie.

He loved her. It was painful, and it was wrong, and Eren had no idea how this love came about. In all the years they had spent in training together, he had never once thought of her as anything more than a friend. And while he had trusted his life in her hands, Eren had known that Annie was nothing more than a friend, and that was all that he wanted out of her, and what she wanted out of him. But when Eren was separated from Annie, he began to miss her more than he thought he would. Eren knew that he would miss her, but he also knew that he would miss all of his other friends from the 104th Trainee Squad so he had thought nothing of it.  _Annie._  Just seeing her lying in the meat of her destroyed titan form with tears streaming down her eyes was enough to make Eren realize his feelings for her. He never wanted to see her in pain like that again. And now, he may never see her again.

And yet, Eren hated Annie. She tried to kill Mikasa and Armin, his only family left, as well as all of the friends he had made. She killed many good soldiers when they were on their scouting mission, and she even tried to kill him. Eren hated her for that. It made him want to turn into a titan and tear off her head all over again. He wanted to kill Annie, but she was trapped inside of Amber, unbreakable even by the legion's most extreme methods.

"Fuck!" Eren screamed, punching a the wall beside him, unfazed by the broken bones and blood. He had become accustomed to pain in his hands, although it still made him wince. But the physical pain felt so much better than the pain going on inside of him. He was so conflicted, and confused, and angry. Why did Annie have to pit herself against the world? Why did she hate humanity so much? How was she able to turn into a titan? None of it made any sense, and Eren knew that there was no chance of him getting any answers. Not even Hanji or Armin knew how any of this was happening, and they knew everything.

Armin. Eren looked up to see his friend still sitting there, a look of concern on his face. He looked so uncomfortable just sitting there, most likely not knowing the best way to comfort his friend in a time like this. But he was still there for Eren, not wanting to leave him alone in his confusion and fear. He had always been there for Eren no matter the circumstances. With his quick wit and excellent intelligence, he was able to stop Eren from being blown to bits. He was always there with a hug or a smile whenever Eren was depressed or angry or frustrated. When they were training to become soldiers, Armin's perseverance pushed Eren along more than any yelling or reminders of titans ever could. Armin...his best friend...his family...

A sharp and familiar feeling struck Eren in the heart. It was similar to what he felt for Annie and Mikasa, and yet it was not the same at all. It made him uncomfortable and happy and warm all at the same time. He had no idea what was happening, and it scared him.

Armin must have noticed the terror on Eren's face, because Eren suddenly felt Armin's small hand on his arm. Eren could feel Armin's skin right through his shirt. "Eren, is everything alright?" He asked. Eren stared at Armin.  _I think I like him,_ he thought. He could not tell if this strange feeling in his heart was appreciation and love for his childhood friend, or if this was an entirely different level of love. Eren figured that there was only one way he could sort out these feelings once and for all.

"Y-yeah, I just..." Eren said nervously, slowly inching toward his childhood friend, who in turn was slowly inching away until he hit the bed frame.

"Eren...are you sure you're okay? You're acting strange." Armin tried to pull himself as far away from Eren as possible without getting off the bed, but Eren was much too quick. He put one hand on either side of Armin and smashed his lips against Armin's as if this were the last kiss he would ever receive. Actually, this was the first kiss Eren had ever given anybody that was not his mother. Kisses had been reserved for her, and when she died Eren could not fathom kissing anybody else, not even the cute girls who were always giggling at Eren when they were training. Of course, he had been much too focused on training to kill every last titan, but that is beside the point. Kissing Armin was a huge step for Eren, and one that he was glad he had taken. Although it may have confused Armin that his best friend was kissing him, this sorted out any confusion that Eren had.

Eren pulled away from Armin, embarrassed. That kiss had completely decided his feelings for Armin, although Armin definitely felt differently. He had suddenly become extremely interested with the architecture of the room they were in and completely avoided eye contact with Eren. Eren sat back and stared at the door, not sure what he should say or do. Should he just ignore the fact that he ever kissed Armin? That was what Armin seemed to be doing, and he was the smartest person that Eren knew.

But it was so ridiculous to just ignore the fact that Eren kissed his best friend. All he wanted to do was kiss Armin until his lips were black and blue, but would he want to if Armin was against kissing Eren? He did not want to force anything upon Armin, and yet those perfect lips of his were just begging to be kissed. And how could Eren say no to that?

He pressed his lips against Armin's once again, but this time it was not a warm, loving kiss that warmed Eren. This was cold, forced and desperate for Armin's lips. They kept escaping his, pulling away just as their lips touched. It made Eren angry. He needed more than just a taste. He needed Armin right this second, but Armin seemed to want otherwise. He was attempting to pull himself away from Eren in the most polite way you can when your childhood friend is forcing their self upon you.

"E-Eren," Armin stuttered, trying his hardest to object to Eren's kisses. "Please stop. I don't want this, a-and I don't think you do either."

 _Armin is delusional,_  Eren decided. Of course Eren wanted this, and Armin must as well. His objections were weak; lies to hide behind. Of course Armin wanted this. There was no way that he would not.

Eren grabbed the back of Armin's head and smashed their lips together, desperate for contact with Armin. Armin, in turn, wiggled, as if he was trying to escape. But Eren was not in the mood to play a game with Armin. He wanted him now.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, Armin," Eren breathed into Armin’s ear as he pinned Armin’s arms back with his own two hands. “How had I not seen how perfect you were before? You are so beautiful….”

Armin’s eyes widened in fear,  both at Eren’s proclamation and his arms being shoved roughly against the bed. He was pinned down by Eren, unable to escape unless Eren's hands were busy elsewhere. He wished that the solution to his problem was something simple and non erotic, but sadly, having Eren's hands on Armin's lower body was the only out that Armin had. Eren wouldn't listen to anything else, so Armin had no choice. He took a deep breath, turned his head away from Eren's rough, sloppy kisses, and leaned up to his ear. "Kissing is nice and all, Eren, but don't you think we'd have a little more fun if you started using your hands?"

 Eren looked down at Armin in both surprise and excitement. He was shocked that Armin would suggest something so vulgar so soon, but was excited that he was finally admitting his love for Eren in a roundabout way. Eren decided to give his best friend what he wanted, and use his hands. But he did not want Armin to use his hands. He wanted Armin to have the best experience of his life, and not have to think about giving Eren any pleasure. Armin's happiness was the only pleasure Eren needed.

 He pulled Armin's arms off the bed, and brought them down to where he was straddling Armin, and pinned his arms under his legs. Armin's face had fear in it once more, but Eren knew that was just a front to make it seem like Armin did not want this. It was all part of the fun, and it made Eren chuckle. This was so much better than he could have ever imagined, and it was only going to get better. He pulled off his belt, then removed Armin's arms from under his legs and brought them up to the base of the bed.

"Good thing thing that there are bars here, huh Armin?" Eren commented as he tied Armin's wrists to the bed using his belt. He made it extra tight for extra fun, then turned back to Armin, who was already wriggling with excitement. That made Eren's toes curl, and for him to finally feel any heat. He tore Armin's shirt open, buttons flying in all directions, and started kissing Armin again. First, on the lips with a new found passion. He bit his lower lip a few times, drawing blood, making Armin wail in pain. Eren covered up his cries by covering his mouth with more and more kisses. Once Armin quieted down a little, Eren started making his way down Armin's jaw and neck, toward his chest. He kissed each of Armin's nipples and his belly button as he made his way down Armin's body.

Armin was shaking in what Eren interpreted was excitement and anticipation, and his eyes were darting every which way, as if looking for an escape. Eren wondered if Armin hated himself for loving this, and was hoping for a way to escape his guilt. Eren only hoped that he would not start screaming for any reason. It would be rather embarrassing if Mikasa or Levi ran in to find Armin and Eren in a compromising position. They both might even be removed from the Scouting Legion for doing such a thing! That could not happen.

Eren paused, and looked up at Armin, who in turn looked at Eren with confusion.  _That is the face of a screamer,_ Eren thought. He would need some way to stop him from making so much noise. He stood up and took off his own shirt. He balled up part of it and shoved it in Armin's mouth, then tied it around this head. Armin started screaming immediately, but even Eren could barely hear anything. It was the perfect gag. Eren smiled. He was proud of himself for thinking of something so clever. He would have to reward himself later.

Until then, Eren would busy himself with Armin. He crouched down in front of Armin's pants. From what Eren could tell, Armin was only semi-hard, which was not acceptable at all. He pulled down Armin's pants, and gazed at his dick. It was beautiful, like every other part of Armin. It made Eren want to see what it looked like when it was fully hard. So he brought his mouth to Armin, and kissed the tip of his dick before taking his full length in his mouth. It made him gag a little, but feeling Armin slowly get harder as he went up and down made him feel happy. He swirled his tongue a few times, and heard muffled groans from Armin. But this still was not good enough for Armin. He deserved the best. So Eren nibbled him a little. A noise that sounded like a scream came from Armin, which was how Eren knew that Armin was having fun. He continued like that until he was certain that Armin was fully hard and having fun.

"Tears in your eyes Armin," Eren smiled. "You must have really loved that, huh?"

Armin closed his eyes and chocked back tears. So Eren wanted him to cry now? Armin had been hoping that seeing his best friend in distress would stop him from at least the biting, but that was just a stupid hope. Eren was taking everything as Armin having fun, which was clearly not the case at all. He hated this. He wished somebody would run in and stop them, or that a titan would find their way to the room and kill them. Anything, anything but this and the biting. Eren had no idea what he was doing, and would only hurt Armin more. There was no true pleasure for Armin, everything was just a reaction from his body to the stimulus Eren was putting it through. He wished his dick was not hard, he wished he could stop screaming in pain, he wished he could stop crying, but wishes were things that never came true in this world.

As Eren turned his attention to his own dick to get it hard, Armin looked around for some way that he could escape, or possibly something that he could kick over to make noise. He needed somebody to run in and stop Eren. _Mikasa, Hanji, anybody. Help me,_ Armin thought desperately as he looked around. There was nothing in reach for him, aside from the wall beside the bed. On the other side of the wall was a hallway that a guard would hopefully be patrolling. Armin kicked the wall as hard as he could, and heard something snap in his foot, but he kicked again and again, ignoring the pain. He was only able to kick four times before Eren ran over and grabbed his legs with a grin.

"Anxious are you? Well don't worry, I'm always hard for you." Eren said, gesturing to his dick which was already hard and leaking precum.

Eren lifted Armin's legs around his shoulders, which was a bit hard to do since Armin was not the most flexible person Eren had ever met. Eren positioned himself at Armin's opening, then paused. Was he supposed to prepare him? Surely it would be painful if somebody shoved their dick up you when you were dry. Eren had no idea what he was supposed to do, but he decided to shove his dick into Armin dry anyway. Even if it did hurt -which it looked like it did at Armin's reaction- Armin clearly loved pain by how he had reacted to everything else that Eren had done.

Going into Armin was tough at first since his hole was too small for Eren dick and it was very dry. But Eren thrust into Armin with everything he had, and Armin let him know that it felt good by his scream, which was much louder than any of the other screams he had heard from his best friend so far. Eren pulled himself out of Armin and thrust in again. As he kept going, he felt everything become a little slicker, and thrusting was a little easier. He took Armin's dick into his hands and began pumping in rhythm with his thrusts. It was slow going at first, but he began to build up going faster and faster, until the slapping of skin on skin was so loud that it probably did not matter that Armin had a gag on him. Being inside of Armin was intoxicating. He was so tight and perfect. Everything about Armin was perfect. His skin, his hair, his faces. Eren wondered what his orgasm face looked like. He pumped a little faster, and his breathing got heavier, and the room got hotter.

"Armin," Eren groaned through his teeth, trying not to be so loud as to alert the guards. He was reaching his point, and he could tell that Armin was too. Suddenly Armin tightened and cum shot out of his dick onto Eren's shirt. Armin arched his back and looked like he was holding back a scream, which was silly since he had a gag on. At the same time, Eren reached his peak and a warm liquid dripped out of Armin's asshole. Eren pulled himself out of Armin, and laid down on him, breathing heavily. Armin had tears streaming down his face, and he was trying to look away from Eren. But that made it better for Armin to hear Eren.

"Armin," Eren panted, his heart beat slowing down. "I love you, and I don't want you to be with anybody else. I love you, I love you, I love you." He untied Armin's hands and took the gag out of his mouth. His wrists were bloody from trying to escape his bonds, and he was half conscious from barely being able to breath. "I love you Armin." Eren said as he laid beside Armin and closed his eyes, falling asleep within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for that terrible smut, this is my first time writing smut in a fanfic, so I'm a little shaky, but as I get better, I might come back and fix this :)


End file.
